When I put it to a poll a couple weeks back it was voted on that my 24th birthday blog would be one that told you all a few things about me. I’m excited for this– trying to think of 24 thing about me; unique things about me, things that you all may not already know, is quite daunting.
Where do I even start… yikes. For a birthday post, there’s an odd amount of stress attached to it. It may sound too humble, but I’m not sure I have 24 unique things about me to share. Not sure where I’m going with all of this, but I guess we’ll find out together.
Here goes nothing.
1.) I have a crazy good memory
(For the most part)… Really, I do. I can remember in depth details of something random that occurred over a decade ago. Finite details that people haven’t even thought of since then. It’s kind of cool. To be fair, my short term memory on the other hand could use help some days.
2.) I was hockey player
I remember when they passed out a list of extracurricular activities going on throughout the community, and I quickly saw there was one for girls’ hockey. I had danced and done some gymnastics, but nothing like this. Let’s just say, my father’s most proud parenting moment was when I was put in the penalty box for chucking another girl into the wall (physical contact isn’t allowed in girls’ hockey– at least at this age). To be fair, moments after that I succeeded in a great breakaway and made the winning goal. Dad was googling female hockey scholarships from the get go.
3. I danced and did gymnastics
Shocking, right? Considering I mentioned it above, I suppose not. But yes, it is true. I was once graceful and talented, going somewhere, but then life changed. I miss it some days; the friendships and music, the good times that came with it. I don’t miss the occasional intense pressure though. Never doubt the strength or dedication that these athletes put in, you have no idea the lengths they are willing to go to, to hone in their craft.
4. I’m actually quite shy
I have a feeling that there may be a few hundred of you out there calling BS on this one. But, it’s actually true! The girl at the age of 3 who would talk to anyone and everyone is now someone who gets a pit in her stomach when she’s in situations where she doesn’t know people. The fact that this is how my life panned out is actually quite interesting. They call it social anxiety disorder, I just call it loads of intimidation. There’s a part of me that wants to go back to being a fearless 3 year old again.
5.) I love chopped liver
Before you hit the unfollow button, let me plea my case. It’s delicious. That’s it, that’s my case. It has to be the right chopped liver and I’m really picky, but I absolutely love it. When I was little I would call it Pâté… because I’m fancy like that. So yes, it’s out there for the world to know– I love chopped liver.
6.) I like cooking, and am good at it
Don’t believe me? Come join us and have a seat at my Shabbos table and you’ll be delighted. While I don’t always get too creative, I have managed to make some incredible dishes such as curry, a vast array of very well cooked salmon, anything roasted, baked goods. Trust me, if I had a fully functioning kitchen there would be gourmet meals being produced often. (I wish)
7.) I’m deeply loyal
I take friendships, and any relationship for that matter, very importantly . I am someone who will go above and beyond caring every step of the way, sometimes to a fault. I guess my personality tests are all correct though, I AM super loyal. I will forever care about someone even it’s been years without speaking, because time and distance only mean as much as you let it. Loyalty never dies out.
8.) I wanted to be a fashion designer
Whatever that meant at the time. I was always somewhere between wanting to be the one to create the beautiful clothes people were wearing, or be the one helping people learn how to dress properly and look like the best versions of themselves. Fashion is still a big love of mine, hence… The blog.
9.) I want to open a Kosher cafe here
I have this vision of a cute dairy cafe that serves as a place where people want to hang out, but they can also get their CY coffee and food. Easy breakfast/lunch/nosh type place, where you can go and sit down and have a meal, work, or shmooze with friends for hours. The ambiance is the most important factor, because you want people to want to stay. But, alas, I’m not sure this would ever be sustainable here.
10.) I only had a 2% chance of survival at birth
Many of you know I have a condition known as Turner Syndrome, but what most people don’t know is that there’s only a 2% survival rate. 1 in every 2,500 girls are diagnosed with Turner Syndrome, but the amount of those that survive past diagnosis is only 2%. Why did I get to be one of those fortune ones? I’m still figuring that out.
11.) I barely made it into sem
I’m pretty sure there was bribery of some sort to get me in there, but I still remember my parents and I flying to New York to hand deliver my application and to see Crown Heights, and two weeks later I was there. I still feel like one of the originals of that year, because I didn’t realize that people can continuously come throughout the year. Whoops.
12.) I wanted to be on Broadway
I grew up acting, and not just at home in front of my parents. I felt like I owned the stage. I remember moving at the JCC from the kids theater room, into the bigger theater room, and finally onto main stage. I felt like in the world of acting (for a 4- 14 year old) like I’d made it. Seeing my name and bio in a playbill for the first time was so exhilarating. From that moment on I’d determined I was going to move to New York and become an actress on Broadway. Welp, you know which half of that happened.
13.) My favorite vacation was a “food tour” in Boston in 2007
For someone who has traveled a decent amount, and to wonderful places (thank G-d), to have this be what I’d call my favorite vacation is sort of comical. That summer a friend of my Mom’s was getting married out there, so we decided to make a trip of it. Before I became the problem child who keeps kosher and has very limited options, my parents and I would eat everywhere! We went to some of the most amazing restaurants you could ever imagine, and some of them were just hole in the walls at the end of a boardwalk. I remember eating calm chowdah, calamari, more chowdah, shrimp… what I might now call a treif heaven. We also have always had a mission to find the world’s best fries, and that continues, just a little differently.
14.) I’m a shopaholic
There, I said it. It’s out there in the world now and I can’t take it back. You all know my not so hidden secret. But actually, it is a bit of a problem at times… Help.
15.) A small part of me has always wanted to live in a beautiful home in the mountains, surrounded by nature and not much else
Let the laughter commence, but it’s true. I’ve always wanted to live in peace and as one with nature, but in comfort obviously. A quiet place to think, breathe, relax, it sounds so idealistic in theory. Mountains and rivers, the clean air and crunch of fall leaves. Or even living in the condo by the lake in Dillon would work for me. I’m not picky.
16.) Cereal is my favorite food group
Yes, it’s a food group. If I could have it for breakfast, lunch, and dinner I would. I’m not even too picky about what kind it is, as long as I have some good red milk to go with it!
17.) My biggest dream is to be a wife and a mother
I know some people may find this as though I’m selling myself short, or something to that affect, but it’s my dream. Some kids dreamt about becoming doctors or firemen, some about being teachers or authors, they knew what they wanted to be. For me, the thing I knew was this; I wanted to fall madly in love and get married and be a wonderful mother to as many children as I could possibly manage. I wanted the picturesque 50’s housewife vibe, I still do… Just with some more opportunities available now. By some, I mean a lot.
18.) I never realized how much I actually loved my hair until it changed and started falling out
My hair was my thing… I think. You know how everybody has their “thing”? Maybe it’s their smile, their eyes, their laugh, everyone has something they’re known for and I believe mine was my hair. I had a very hard relationship with it for year, until I figured it out and then it was constant upkeep. I loved it, it made me who I am. But then when I got sick it suddenly changed and fell out in random tufts at times. So, I look in the mirror and see it, and I miss the way it used to be. As fun as this wig journey is, it’s been a fairly emotional ride.
19.) I’m chronically tired
There is actually a condition in which this is a very real thing, so by no means is this to make light of that. But I genuinely am chronically tired. I don’t think I have woken up feeling fully rested since middle school, and I’m not sure if that’s life and adulthood to blame, or an underlying progressive illness to blame. Either way– I would honestly love to always sleep. Actually, I’d like to feel rested, yeah… sounds like a better option.
20.) I live my life vicariously through others
At this point in my life, so little exciting happens to me. I have people who lift me up and help me through the day to day, and then I’m able to live vicariously through them and others. I can take and hold a baby for a few hours and become Tante Dafna. I can listen to my friend’s date and feel her excitement. I can go spend yontif with close friends and suddenly they’re my family and their house is simultaneously mine. I live through the good and the bad, because that’s what a good friend does, but on a selfish level it makes me feel as though I’m doing something when I’m helping them. We lived it together.
21.) Jewish summer camp saved my life
I’m sure that’s not an uncommon thing to hear quite honestly, for those who went to summer camp it becomes something ingrained within our being. My teenage middle school years were not easy, at all. I’m pretty sure nobody escapes middle school unscathed. But to any point, I was in a very dark place. My one beacon of hope and light was Shwayder Camp, it saved me repeatedly and for that I’ll always be grateful.
22.) I was 5 years old the first time I saw a rated R movie
To be fair, it was Pretty Woman and I had no clue as to what was going on, I just thought that her makeover and new dresses were gorgeous. You’ll be happy to know, seeing a rated R movie before the proper age didn’t scar me for life.
23.) I love hugs, like a lot
I’m a very touchy-feely person living in a world that isn’t, and I’ve grown used to that. Here’s the thing though, I love hugs. They’ve always made me feel safe and loved. It’s a special form of a connection, and it’s something that I value a lot. Hugs have always been a thing for me, so I guess you could say I’m a hugger.
24.) The thought of dying scares me, but so does the thought of living
When I was diagnosed almost two years ago with PAH, I knew I was starting to live on borrowed time. It was overwhelming and still is. Coming face to face with your own mortality in your early twenties is a very sickening feeling. You watch everyone make plans, and you can’t because it’s all a pipe dream. On the other hand, with feeling as sick as I do, I couldn’t imagine living until 120 like this. I’m scared for the length of my life, because I don’t want to die. I’m scared for the length of my life, because I don’t want to remain miserable. It’s being between a rock and a hard spot. At the end of the day, my faith in G-d and that He knows what He’s doing is the thing that carries me through.
OKAY!
So, there you have it. 24 things about me, that some of you may have known, and some of you may be shocked completely. It was fun writing this and I hope it allows all my readers to know me even just a little more.
Cheers, L’chaim, here’s to 24. Another year down, and another to go.
Let’s do it!
XOXO
F&F
