If you followed along on Instagram you saw that I just spent the past nine days in New York, more specifically six days in Crown Heights and three in Manhattan. It was a great trip and it’s taken me a few days and a couple piles of laundry to be able to finally sit down and think about the whole thing.
I love New York and pretty much everything about it. There is no place in the world quite like it, and that’s what makes it special. The two years I lived there were the most important and formative years of my young life. Going back there stirs up a lot of feelings and memories, but also allows me to create new ones. With my health, we never quite know how far to push me and we aren’t sure of what tomorrow holds. So, knowing that, I wanted to take and live in the moment during this trip. Take it all in and allow myself the the opportunity to appreciate the fact that I was there and being a boss babe even while feeling weak.
I had a vision of what I thought this trip back to NY was going to be like, and quite frankly… It wasn’t what I had planned up in my mind at all. G-d does that though, He makes us do what we need to, not necessarily what we want to.
I brought tons of clothes to NY and had this vision of getting tons of cute pictures while there, I mean a girl who runs a fashion blog needs to have some quality content, right? But, that just never happened. Aside for the fact that a third of my trip was a holiday where I couldn’t use my phone (or any tech thing for that matter), every day just flew by and I was so busy absorbing everything that I didn’t stop to have my mother take photos of me in all of the aesthetic fashion blogger worthy places.
I was able to share the highlights of it on Insta, but truthfully those were just small blips. I was really trying to enjoy my time, not spend every second on Instagram… and kinda failing at that to a degree. What can I say, I like sharing my experiences. Even though it came after the trip, realizing that I did what I needed to, to be present and in the moment, actually felt good.
There is beauty in allowing yourself to narrow your view down and focus on that moment. It’s okay to not check your phone every 15 seconds, it’s okay to let those non urgent whatsapp messages wait for an hour or two. You can always come back to those, but you can’t come back and relive the moment you are in.
Life is short, and time is fleeting.
Being in the moment is a lot harder than it seems. The first time that I had this epiphany was at my younger cousin’s graduation. For the first half of the ceremony I was trying to get pictures and capture this moment, and then my phone died out of nowhere. All of the sudden, the choice to be the moment or not wasn’t up to me. I had to listen and watch, verses taking all of these videos and living that experience after the fact.
I will be the first person to admit that practicing what I preach is not something I’m good at. I am working on it though. Making conscious effort to be in the moment, living for that moment, and appreciating everything that has made that moment possible. Maybe it comes from being sick, maybe it comes from my knowledge that everything is created by the ultimate Creator, I’m not sure. What I do know is that it’s forcing me to see things in different ways which subsequently has been the biggest blessing.
I think this may be on the edge of being a rant or ramble, but the root of what I’m trying to say is: Be present and show up for the moments that matter.