So, I guess I really did know myself well enough to know that I’d end up writing a second part of “The art of knowing your Worth” but it might not end up being solely on that topic. But, I promise to try and stay focused.
Recently I’ve found myself residing within my own mind and spending a lot of time alone there. I’ve come to realize, I don’t like that. Being alone in my own head with my own thoughts is a very scary experience, and it’s not that my mind itself is a scary place, but the alone factor is what scares me. I’ve never been someone who’s comfortable being in my own company. Ironically I also hate large groups, so it’s kind of a conflicting thing.
What does any of this have to do with knowing my worth though? How can I draw the line from point A to point B?
It’s simple; I have a feeling that if I was more confident in myself, if I had more love for myself, if I was my own best friend, that I could understand my worth better. Instead, like most people, I thrive off of validation.
Who here remembers the show Glee? I was in middle school and obsessed with that show. To this day though, there is one line from that still sticks out in my mind, “I’m like Tinkerbelle, Finn! I need applause to live!” A quintessential Rachel Berry quote that speaks the mild narcissist within us all. Whether it’s applause, likes on Instgram, Story views, follower count, whatever it is we all have our equivalent of “applause”. But, what would happen if we started being the generators of our own “applause” ?
Let’s elaborate, shall we?
Okay, realistically; we can’t control how many like, follows, etc that we get. The only thing we can control is how we allow it to determine our self worth. What?! That’s an insane idea that nobody in the history of ever has talked about. — I kid. The reality is, we know that no matter how much we try to not care about it, there’s that teeny tiny part that does.
I propose that we let that deeper social media concept sit in the background, and look at something a bit more prevalent; why do we post things we do? I will be the first to say that I’ll post a photo that I like because I want attention drawn to me, whether for the fashion or the fact that I wrote a meaningful caption to draw attention my blog. I once read in Neshei Chabad’s “Esther Etiquette” section that just like speaking, you should think before you post. Will it be of benefit to someone?Why are you doing it? Ultimately we should use the platforms we’ve been given to spread goodness, not envy or to seek validation.
We need to look inside ourselves and know that our worth is measure by our character, not by some set of numbers.
Our worth is measured by the amount of lives we positively impact.
So, while I sit here in my own mind, questioning my own worth by the number of texts or WhatsApp messages I receive, or the amount of likes my photo may get, I remind myself that I am good person. I am good friend, daughter, chossid, and at the end of the day those will always grade my worth more than any numerical value.
We are worth so much more than any of us knows.